If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
