It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
