he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
