I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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