That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
The best revenge is premature balding
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
