Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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