bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
