i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
