some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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