everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
