Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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