And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize