Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
