i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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