If that was your dad, he is hot
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
