May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Dear god my vagina.
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