Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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