Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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