we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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