Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
