why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
