yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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