I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
