I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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