Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
