I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
