me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
