I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
