My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
you had me at cake vodka
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
