I wish I only lived at night.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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