i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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