Cold hands, warm shart.
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
