forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize