As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
