She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
