i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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