Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
