Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
