Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
