I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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