I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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