I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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