We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
