Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
