The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
