why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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