yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize