you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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