I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
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