Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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