Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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