his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize