we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize