All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
