got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
