Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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