my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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